I always notice when it gets close to Christmas how people tend to be in a better mood and have a better attitude about things. When I go to the store people are smiling and even hold the door for one another. It almost feels weird in a way. Occasionally you get some not so happy, unpleasant people that want to make it clear that they don't want to be happy. Nor do they want to except your smile.
I tend to think that if you really want to know someones true personality and heart. Get in the car with them. Are they courteous and polite drivers? Do they slow down for pedestrians? Do they go the speed limit? Do they text and drive? I think our driving definitely reflects our personality.
Why do we have to wait once a year to be civil, loving, sharing, thoughtful.....?
Why can't everyday be Christmas? It's no wonder atheists hate us. I don't blame them sometimes. We sometimes really don't practice what we preach. Like "Thy shall not judge" that's a good one. Many of us claim that we don't, but it's almost impossible not to. Why is there such a emphasis on gifts? Why can't the presence of one another be a gift? Sometimes giving gifts can be stressful in itself. Are they going to like it? is it the right size? Is it too small or too big? Is it the right color? or is the ring big enough. Oh no! if it's not a big enough diamond, she may leave. Oh no! what do I do? REALLY NICE! RIGHT?
Then the time comes and you arrive at your family or friends for Christmas. Everyone is in good spirits. Dinner was great! your thinking of the wonderful gifts you bought and hope the kids, friends, family will enjoy them. You gather around the tree and the passing of presents begins. All of the sudden the whole room turns into a tearing wrapping paper frenzy. It's noisy and chaotic. You can't hear a thing.
The person you bought presents for doesn't even acknowledge you or thank you.
I'm sure this happens to a lot of people. If not, consider yourself lucky. I see this happen a lot not only during Christmas, but through the year. It's almost like it's a materialist competition. Have you ever had that experience when you make efforts for the special people in your life and it's not noticed or reciprocated? Through the years you may call them on their birthday, take them out or even buy them a gift and you don't even get reciprocated. Now I'm not even talking gifts. I'm simply talking about a occasional phone call, like. "Hey how are you doing?" I had lunch the other day with one of my best friends and these topics were brought up. He expressed some of the same experiences.
So what is it that makes some people have the attitude as though it's expected to be paid attention to on birthdays and so forth, but when it comes to others it's more like a social acceptance status? If they like you they'll interact with you and give you your special greetings on your special days.
A few weeks ago it was my sons birthday. He asked me the other day who his Godmother and Godfather was. He was crying because neither one called him on his birthday. One of his friends at school was telling my son how many family members called him on his birthday. It was heartbreaking. It's difficult as a parent. We have to try to explain things that we don't understand ourselves. We also have to explain that each family is different and not all families have a bond, share or give support to one another. Some families may even be oblivious that the whole family is like that.
So what do you do when they are and you aren't? well for one thing you can be thankful. Be thankful for who you are and be thankful that you can give the gift of caring to others. Your gift of caring and loving may give or teach that person something that they didn't have or never experienced. I try to teach my son that when he gets a gift that he must call the person personally and thank them. That person took the time out for you. They took the time buying you a gift because they love you and so you must return the gift by acknowledging and showing your appreciation. I think we should all practice that. I don't know if it's an American thing or what. But I don't like the giving of gifts and then have no acknowledgement of it.
I think as a human race we must all practice the acknowledgments and thank you's. It seems we have become a world where we expect things. It's a selfish act and almost all of us do it.
How do we WIN! how do we FIX it and COMBAT it?
by simply acknowledging your family and friends when they go out of the way to let you know how special you are. A simple thank you, letter, email or phone call can go a long way and can be worth a gift in itself.
We shouldn't let gifts be the theme of acceptance, but rather just accept. Some of you reading this may not even be able to afford gifts and that should be your right not to if you so choose, but at least you can give the special gift of LOVE and the simple words "THANK YOU!"
We can fix it by being more understanding and compassionate. There are so many personalities when it comes to families. Some are educated, some not. Some may be beauty queens, while others not. Some may be famous, in prison, on food stamps, driving a beater, just got fired, lives in another country, got promote and super rich or internally ill....
We shouldn't let our personalities get the best of our ego or insecurities.
How do we COMBAT it? by simply loving and trying to make an effort. It's a hard step, but at the same time it's an easy one. The real gifts are not that of material things, but rather The important gifts is our gifts inside.
-Imaginator-
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